In India, Cricket is big sport. Cricket players are great celebrities. India won world cup twice. There is too much money in cricket. Even as cricket gets all the glory and hype, other games like field hockey or soccer are neglected. Something similar happened in men’s movement even as activist fought against the system to change laws.
After DV act was gazetted in 2006, we ended up with two separate maintenance (or alimony) laws. However, the maintenance amounts were always low. For example, a man earning Rs.100,000 used to get an interim maintenance order of just Rs.5000 or Rs.7000 and he used to be instructed to pay maintenance from date of order.
In 2010, Govt under pressure from feminists planned to make amendments to marriage laws to give a share of husband’s property to wife during separation or divorce. By 2012, it was introduced as bill in parliament and soon it was decided that men have to give half of their property (to wife) that is acquired before marriage, after marriage, inherited or inheritable. A woman is supposed to have this right to property irrespective of duration of the marriage. Needless to say, all men’s groups got united under Save Indian family movement and the protests for 2 years led to roll back of this law in 2014.
Yet, in next 5 years the battle against alimony extortion was lost without a fight. This is sad state of affairs for the movement. Men now have to pay maintenance not from the date of order, but from date of the petition. They have to pay all the arrears first. Maintenance amounts for men earning Rs.100,000 a month has risen from Rs.5000-Rs.7000/- to Rs.15,000 to Rs.25,000/. Due to pressure from Law Minister Ravi Shankar Prasad, some courts are giving exparte orders of interim maintenance. That means they are giving arbitrary orders of maintenance within days of filing of petition (by wife’s lawyer) without listening to the husband.
How did men’s movement end up losing this battle? Why it failed to put up at least a decent fight even as maintenance amounts skyrocketed?
- Just like Cricket taking all the attention from other sports, misuse of 498a and fake rape cases took all the attention in men’s movement and any media coverage of men’s issues. The moral battle against false cases was won a decade earlier. Even though section 498a became weaker, the hype around it only increased. It took all the attention, focus and energy of the men’s movement. It still does.
- Changes in nature of social media helped spread confusion among guys concerned about men’s rights. Earlier Yahoogroup was a very focused social media group. It was replaced by WhatsApp and Facebook groups, which killed focused methods and increased confusion. Patients became doctors in WhatsApp.
- Seasoned Feminists gradually learned how to ignore men’s activists. New generation of young feminists (and feminist celebrities) kept men’s activists occupied with regular mischief. Men’s activists fell for them ignoring the lurking danger of increase of maintenance/alimony.
- Success in Section 498a and false rape battles made most new men’s activists very arrogant and over confident. This undermined any efforts to create unity. Arrogant people do not unite. Inexperience and over confidence became a deadly combination.
- The Save Indian Family movement got more decentralized with splits and internal instability. This created a vacuum. Without strong centralized leadership like earlier times, its effectiveness reduced.
- The movement did not really use any weapon against the alimony onslaught apart from “Husband is not an ATM Machine” slogan. There was no nuanced understanding of maintenance issue or how an offensive can check this growing menace. Proper positioning for marketing of the issue of maintenance extortion (to masses and media) never happened.
- SIFF focused more on establishing men’s community center than on activism. It stopped helping creation of other NGOs and chapters in different cities. Chaos and confusion in movement made SIFF focus more on its survival than providing any leadership to the men’s movement.
- While mercilessly attacking men using maintenance orders, the Government also kept throwing peanuts and false promises at men. Most new guys fell for this. They wasted time with false hope that Govt will create a men’s commission. They became victims of their inexperience (with Govt). Precious time was lost.
- False Hope by Legal Eagles: The philosophy of men’s movement in India in based on the simple fact that men are 2nd class citizens in India and there is no justice for men in Indian courts. However, legal eagles follow somewhat an opposite ideology. They induce into men a lot of trust on legal system. They try to convince men that with enough judgments and citations etc, one can get justice in India’s courts. This is factually incorrect. Most men do not get any justice. Only those men who become activists and spend researching court cases of others tend to get real justice. But, they are just an exception. With too much trust on laws, judgments and citations, men do not feel the need for a movement (andolan) to take on Govt’s extortionist policies about maintenance.
What’s now?
- To solve a problem, one has to first recognize the danger of maintenance extortion and the damage it is already causing. Without that recognition, every discussion will end up with a discourse on section 498a.
- Men have to realize that they can not fight a war on multiple fronts at the same time. They have to unite and become focused on just one issue. Men’s activists do not have enough resources and positional power to fight battles in multiple fronts. The battle against life time maintenance extortion has to get maximum focus right now.
- Unity in men’s movement is possible, when activists focus more on intellect and debate than trolling one another and indulging in flaming.
- Need for a strong Marketing Campaign: We successfully focused on one single issue (section 498a) and marketed it very well. Marketing is all about making an emotional impact on the audience. We did it for the issue of false 498a cases. We need massive marketing campaign in this war against maintenance (or alimony).
- 80% of focus of men’s movement should be to give a mortal blow to alimony extortion policies of Govt. 20% of focus should be on getting father’s access to their children and also to ask for single window for all matrimonial disputes. When maintenance extortion policies are removed, men’s financial commitment towards children will be valued more and this will automatically lead to shared parenting policies. When huge alimony is taken out of equation, false dowry cases will also stop.
